Not a Lightwood, a Blackthorn
by RickonHerondale
Summary: Tatiana Blackthorn return home after his husbands dead. She is devastated, but she can not cry forever. She decides to be more than a widow. She decides to be a hard woman. Summary sucks, I know. I just like Tatiana s character too much.


First of all. SORRY IF MY ENGLISH SUCKS. I talk Spanish, and this my proyect for English Literature, so, please dont judge on me so hard. Second, the characters belong to Cassandra Clare, and her amazing trilogy of The Infernal Devices. Hope you like it.

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She was sitting there, into the shadows of the room that she once shared with her husband. The room seemed so empty in those moments. Not even every piece of furniture seemed enough to fill the big hole in her chest. The air was heavier than usual, poisoning her lungs slowly. Tatiana Blackthorn looked to the other side of the bed, where Rupert slept that morning… The same morning he had grabbed her waist and told her that it was not a mistake to have married her. Tears wanted to get out through her eyes, but Tatiana held them back blinking. She looked through the room again and it was exactly as they left it that morning: the bed was undone, the tables beside the bed were clean, (except his side because Rupert liked to read)… Tatiana looked at the closet, where his shadowhunter clothe was visible.

A big part of her wanted to burn it, to watch it burn and turn into ashes, but another big part wanted to cry with it in her hands. She never really loved Rupert, at least not when they got married. He was a stranger, someone who she had only seen in the old pictures. And he did not look like William Herondale, not even a little bit. Rupert had light brown hair, with an intense jaw. His eyes were little and sky blue colored. His skin was pale and hard. It was the skin of a warrior. The skin of what a real shadowhunter meant. Rupert was a real gentleman, and even if he did not love her at the beginning, he tried to make her confortable; he tried to make her smile. It was hard to share a bed with a stranger, Tatiana thought once, but he was gentle, he had never hurt her, nor made her do things she did not want to. Slowly, they became more than simple friends that were bond by a rune: they became real lovers.

They learned to tolerate each other, to love each other's virtues and to live with each other's bad habits. The sound of a cry interrupted her thoughts. Tatiana touched her cheeks, just to see if she was the one crying, but she was not. The cry was deeper, and Tatiana knew it was his mother. Rupert´s mother was crying for a lost son. For someone who will never come back. Tatiana did not expect compassion from the Blackthorns; she did not expect them to be so soft on her. When she realized what really happened, when she was in her way to her house with Rupert, she thought they were going to blame her. Just like Will did, just like Gabriel and Gideon had always done. For Benedict Lightwood, he had only had two sons, his daughter was useless, and for many times she believed it. When her mother died, Tatiana was depressed, because, who would play with her? Who would teach her how to be a good wife? Her father was busy, doing his job. And her brothers were too young, and learning how to be amazing shadowhunters.

She never was, really, a part of the family. When Will broke Gabriel´s arm it was for pride. Will read her diary in the middle of a party, and she used to have the biggest crush on that blue eyed boy. Gabriel ran to fight with Will, but she knew it was not for her, it was because Will was kicking the Lightwood pride. Tatiana felt so ashamed, that she ran in to her room and cried for hours which did not seem enough. It was a hard thing, to be women on those times, she felt weak a lot of times, and she needed to scream for help at all times because no one was interested in teaching her abilities. Until she met Rupert Blackthorn.

Tatiana smiled sadly, remembering that day, when they announced their engagement. She was at the training room, not necessarily using a weapon, but she was nervous. How would he be? Would he be generous, or handsome? She did not know. A young and handsome light-brown haired boy entering to the room and offering himself to teach her.

The mother's cry got louder, and some other sad sounds invaded her mind. Tatiana almost yelled at them to shut up. It was her husband who had died, in the mouth of a giant worm that once was her father. That was the worst thing: what killed her husband was her father. She did not believe it at the beginning, she was stunned. Her planes had crashed so badly...

Tatiana had simple plans. She just knew three days after, thanks to the Brother Enoch. It was a big surprise for her when he told her she was pregnant of a little boy. She told Rupert that day, and then she waited to reunite with her father and brothers if it was possible to tell everyone the news. She put her best dress that day, and Rupert did it too, but when they arrived, a giant worm received them. Rupert protected her, and their baby. Tatiana wanted to do something, but she screamed instead. They tried to run away, but they could not. Tatiana turned around just to see how her father decapitated her husband. She screamed, and someone -a girl- took her away. She did not cry at the beginning because she thought she would see Rupert getting out of there, with Gabriel and Gideon.

And when that did not happen, she held her tears and saved them for the travel. And now she was there, sitting in the darkness of an empty room, with no soul to cry for her. She removed the tears from her cheek quickly, getting really tired of hearing the woman crying in the next room. She touched her stomach and breathed deeply while she stood up.

Her reflection in the mirror looked back at her. Tatiana was a tall girl, with brown hair and amazing green eyes. But her reflection was smiling at her.

—Look at you... —her reflection told to her. —Screaming for help... always yelling for it. It's pathetic, Tatiana.—

Something cold passed through her veins, just like poison. She touched her stomach again, and realized what she was meant to do. Completely angry with the world, she smashed the mirror in front of her, turning it into small pieces of glass. Her hand was bleeding, and she did not care at all. With the same fury, she began to throw everything she could to the floor. All Rupert's clothes and weapons. She put them together and then took a deep breath. Her heart was now as cold as an ice berg. She did not feel anything else than a hole in her chest and joy in her belly.

—I love you, Rupert, but I have to let you go. I will take care of Jesse. —she said to no one in particular.

She got out of the room, and went down stairs, where the Blackthorn family was reunited, and looked at her deeply, with attention. Before any of them spoke, Tatiana did.

—I know we are all sorry for Rupert´s lost. —she touched her belly.—But I am pregnant and I swear to you that his son will be the best out of the best.—

She did not expect them to hold her and give her the congratulations, which they didn't. They froze in their seats, and Tatiana ignored them completely.

—I am going to write a letter to the Consul, asking for an investigation of the case, and ask my brothers to respond for the lost that we are suffering.—she said. Nobody said a word; they were in shock looking at her and paying attention.

Without a further word, she left the room, protecting her baby with everything she had. That wasn´t Tatiana Lightwood anymore, that little and useless being was gone, she thought. She was gone when she broke the mirror. She was not a Lightwood anymore. She was a Blackthorn. Tatiana Blackthorn and she were expecting a little boy named Jesse Blackthorn.

She was sitting on the darkness, so darkness she became.


End file.
